What If - 1b
by Shang (shang@shang-fic.net)

Website: http://www.shang-fic.net/

Rating: NC-17

Warning: Rape, Violence

Pairing: Sk/K Hurt, Sk/M UST

Category: Episode related-Duane Barry, Ascension.

Summary: In a war between men, power and ugly things, you meant to be a survivor, to over-power the weak and balance yourself in the game.

Disclaimer: They belong to truth, justice and evil.

Archive: 2003 Spooky Awards, Slashing Mulder, the Basement

Beta: Bertina. Well, 'disarmed' is a word some Asian people use as a bedroom joke to describe a man having ejaculated. I insisted to use it just because I thought it's funny. Please don't blame my bata.;-)

Warning: Read here before you take the risk to read the story.

Krycek's apartment
August 06, 1994
23:42

Krycek's POV

I still feel hot after Marita left, after I walk outside of the bar. Actually, it is the temperature, it's hot in the night...a SUMMER night! I burst into hard laughter. It was a summer night! And I went to buy a leather jacket and did wear it! Can't believe this! Damn!

Oh, Kryrek, you must chill out.

The whole thing's gonna make me crazy. From the beginning, a week ago, I met the smoker, the baldy and the Spooky. Then I killed a man, stole Agent Mulder's file, had a secret meeting with the Consortium's members. Till tonight, I had a quick fuck...okay, maybe I am the one being fucked.

I shrug off my leather jacket and curl it under my arm, walk away from those startled women who just saw me laughing my ass off. Around the corner outside of the bar, the cab driver refuses letting me in. Hey, you drove me home a couple of times, you can't seriously think I'm crazy, you old fat bastard!

I keep walking. Again, I smile like a fool, repeating the scene in my head. In the dim light bar, Marita's hands looked like soft butter sliding teasingly on my brand new jacket. The lust in her cool eyes when she was on me, and the way she orgasmed I was afraid that she was going to bite me. But all the excitement made me 'disarmed' within five minutes...well, she was that good you can tell. And damn, I can't remember the color of her panties. Maybe she didn't wear any! I wonder if I'll have another encounter with her. She did say 'see you around', didn't she?

Half an hour, though, I walk home sweating like a dog, I make a beeline going to the central air guage. It's actually pointing at 70. Well, it's really a little cold. A little. Proving I'm not crazy.

Now, it's already midnight. I hang up my jacket by the window to let the air blow away the scent of the bar and my sweat on it. Closeing my eyes, I sit on the frame of the window, smelling the rich scent of leather. The breeze is caressing my hair and drying my sweat soaked T-shirt, it's soothing...

My cell phone rings, my heart beats nervously.

" Yes?"

" Had a blast, Alex?" Spender! He knew?

" You were...watching...?" That's it! I knew there was something wrong. That piece of shit Luis helped to set me up.

" Well, see it as a gift. BUT..."

I'm waiting, and I can hear him puffing on the other end of the line. Even though, I still can't help looking around my room to make sure he is not here.

" You didn't do your job very well."

" I don't understand."

" Mulder. Being his partner, I can see you already earned a little trust from him."

" Isn't that enough ?"

He puffs for long seconds, and says creepily, "Of course not! You should take time to make him trust you more than as a partner, not waste it on playing pool with Luis."

" Trust? He is the kind of man trusting nobody. How can I be friends with him ?" I know I sound whiny.

Spender chuckles, "Alex, Alex, Alex. Are you stupid or what? Did I say be friends with him? No."

My skin creeps further. What do you mean? I don't say it out loud, but he knows my silent question.

" Look - our comrade Marita," He say nonchalantly.

Marita! So she didn't give me a fake name. Maybe there can be some possibilities between us. But why does the bastard mention her now? I won't care for her, we just fucked once and nothing more, okay?

" Marita has told me you are a very attractive man. And I wouldn't pick you if I didn't think you have some talents." He puffs, and I hear somebody lighting another cigarette for him. "I think there also will be some chemistry between you and Agent Mulder..."

" What!?" I choke. Now I realize the whole idea. "No way I'm going to fuck a man and I don't think Fox Mulder is in to men-"

" You think? Alex, you don't need to think, just do your job." That sounds like an order.

Somehow I can feel Spender's murderous threatening; in an instance, I THINK I really have animal's survival instincts. "Yes, Sir."

I want out. All of this. I begin to consider going to Skinner. Confess, maybe, but for what? I didn't do anything except steal Mulder's file. On the contrary, if the Consortium is as powerful and scary as I have heard, then both Skinner and me might be eliminated like we have never never existed.

August 07, 1994
Afternoon

Krycek's POV

My second time here, Skinner's office. He is there, arms folding in front of his chest, hip half resting on his desk, head bent while talking to me.

" There's a situation..."

I'm waiting. The arrogant man seems to totally despise looking at me.

He nods at the note on his desk, "Hostage negotiation. It's an emergency. Go, find Mulder."

Hostage negotiation. Yeah, if not for the things that happened in the past week, I'd be excited attending such a big 'event'. I remember the first attempt to join the FBI was for all the adventure I fantasized about. Not now, it's not my party, I'm just a tool. Slowly, reluctantly, I reach out to take the note. Suddenly, he grabs my wrist. I gasp, startled.

" I don't care whom you work for, but if you hurt my...agent-"

My wrist, it hurts. What makes him think I'm going to hurt Mulder?

For an instant, " I..." I want to confess to him.

But he continues, "...you're a dead man." He yanks me to him, threats in his eyes. "Got it, boy?"

" Sir, Agent Kazdin is on 3, " Skinner's intercom beeps, how sweet is the voice of his secretary.
"She wants Mulder over there as soon as possible."

" Do. Your. Job." Which one? The job we're talking or the job I work for Spender? He releases my wrist and goes to answer the phone, not looking back at me. So I'm dismissed?

The last time I walked out of this office I was angry, this time I walk out of here feeling defeated and confused.

Not sure what to do next.

It's two thirty in the afternoon, and Mulder is not at his desk. His tie is on the desk beside his suitcase.

" Where is he ?" Another agent is reading a novel with an alien on the cover, I laugh, "Is that his book ?"

" No, it's mine. But, hey, Spooky's funny, I can share this with him. By the way, he went to swim." Then he buried his nose in the book again.

" Thanks. Maybe I should read that, too," I mutter. Yeah, I'm going to win his trust, not his heart. Relax, Alex!

I look down at the large swimming pool, no one is there except Mulder at this time. I take a breath, weighing Spender and Skinner in this game, and decide to play it carefully.

" Agent Mulder!"

" Krycek, what's up?" Mulder gets out of the pool. Nice body, but I'm in good shape, too.

Well, men always have their pride; not that I'm checking him out, I DO NOT check men...but, red speedos?

" There's a situation going down. They want you out there right away." Just a half a second looking down 'there'...aw, no way I'm going to hold the other guy's dick no matter how handsome he is.

Yurk.

Skinner's house
August 07, 1994

Skinner's POV

I turn off the TV, not wanting to watch the live news report anymore. They've been at the temporary command center for hours, and Mulder the stupid ass went into the travel agency to hostage himself. If anything happened to him, I'll have no one to blame, not even Krycek or Spender.

I decide to take a shower then go back to my office.

Sharon chooses the fucking day, tomorrow, to come back from her long vacation. I can't greet her like this - welcome her home while all my concerns are on my Fox.

After the shower, I leave a simple message telling her I won't be home for a couple of days until a hostage situation is solved. She was used to this, not seeing me for days, weeks when I was in the field as an agent and then attended meetings out of town as the AD the past year. Yeah, I don't have to explain myself. But...

This feels like cheating on her. I can't just blow her off and smile in her face. I need space. I need to confess to her, to end our marriage; I also need to confess to Mulder, to...no, I can't do this one.

I'm not ready to risk everything.

The temporary command center, VA
August 07, 1994
Midnight

Krycek's POV

I've been here hours, nothing I could do except help deliver coffee. Most of the time, I sit out of their way, and watch. I'm tired and hungry. I'd already gulped three cups of coffee and a cold hamburger. Right now, I only want to go home and crash. I couldn't sleep last night because I've been told that my next assignment is to seduce Mulder.

Well, I'm not going to approach him at any point.

Right now, he is out there in the Travel Time travel agency. Better he gets shot so that I can play a grieving partner beside his bed in the hospital. That will make things easier. I chuckle.

" Who here can talk to an Agent Scully?"

Scully? I thought she was already out of the picture. Who said every problem has a solution?

I take the receiver from the other agent, "Scully, it's Krycek." Hi, sweetheart.

" Where's Mulder?" That hurts.

And she is irrational. "You've got to get him out of there."

That's easy for you to say. But, if you were here, I'd put on the big S and be your hero.

Hmm...apparently, she is the one who hangs the big S. Because not too long after the red hung up on me, she flies down here from Washington to rescue the man I was supposed to win his trust.

They should transfer her to Alaska!

Skinner's office
August 08, 1994
01:46

Skinner's POV

I can't sleep. Part of me is thinking about how to face Sharon, tell her we should sign the papers, once and for all. I don't think she'll object. Both of us are just waiting for the other to make the final decision.

Turing around, I lie on my back on the sofa, facing the ceiling, and begin to worry about Mulder again. He might get shot by the psycho, maybe I should go there myself. After all, they borrowed two agents of mine and one of them is under the gunpoint right now. They won't doubt the concern from a responsible superior.

But when I'm ready to leave my office, the phone on my desk rings. The personal line. Sharon?

Has she arrived home? She never checked on me, why now? "Yeah?"

" Were you running out of steam? Your wife gave me this number." Krycek? So she is back home. "They've gotten Duane Barry. Mulder and I were allowed to leave, the commander is tidying things up now." So, it's over, thank God.

" Where's Mulder? Why didn't he call? Why you?" I can't help myself worrying again.

I hear him sighing, I don't think he wants to speak to me, either.

" Because, I'm reminding you to inform Spender. He did say I have to see to it that you report everything concerning Mulder."

I hate to remember that rainy night when the smoker appeared at my porch, threatening me and leaving his errand boy Krycek in my house. "Then where's Mulder?"

" Well...he...took Scully home."

" Scully? What was she doing there?"

" Mulder called for her help." Think so...

" I see."

" Skinner?" Krycek's tone suddenly softens, not so businesslike.

" What?"

" ...never mind." He hangs up.

His tone had a sense of caution in it...then an afterthought dawns on me. I peel off the receiver of my phone.

" Damn!" I curse silently when I see the device attached to it. I dig it out and throw it into the glass of water on my desk. Five seconds later, my cell phone rings.

Guess whose calling?

" Are you going to sleep there all night, Mr. Skinner?"

I chuckle, and say in an undertone, "Yeah, come join me, or would you prefer to 'hear' from me some other time?"

" I will, believe me, soon." Click.

" Fuck..." I begin to pace. Never once in my life had I ever felt so caged.

Minutes, hours tick by, then I have to drag the blinds closed to block the light from the sunrise. I lie back on the sofa hoping to grab some rest.

Skinner's office
August 08, 1994
17:05

Krycek's POV

Well, third time in Skinner's office. But, this is the first time that Skinner really looks at me when he talks. Because he calls me in, what does he want from me?

" Where's Mulder?" He is playing with something in his hand while talking.

" Richmond, the hospital where they put Duane Barry. Agent Kazdin called him from there."

Skinner only nods curtly; I know there is something else. "I don't think we're here to discuss Agent Mulder's whereabouts." You see, the only business between he and I is we both have Spender on our neck.

He stops playing with whatever in his palm, and tosses it in front of me on his desk, "Is there more? In my office? Even my house?" Skinner stares into my eyes, a touch of anger burning in his eyes.

But he isn't yelling, just hisses through his clenched teeth. A very cautious man even when he is angry; I don't think his voice can be heard through the bugs if it still had any.

" Hey, not me." I hold up my hands, and mouth the words.

Skinner writes on the paper, then slides it to me.

'Garage, now!'

A date? Who am I kidding? I shrug, okay, at least he can't beat me, there are plenty of cameras down in the garage area.

" You're dismissed, Agent."

I leave his office. Before the elevator stops on this floor, I'm aware that he's following behind. Seconds later, we are down in the basement. He pulls me to a corner, great, I don't see a damn camera around this corner. He must have known that.

Suddenly, Skinner slams me against the wall, "Was that you who put the bug in my phone? Did you also put one in my house that night? Huh?"

" I told you, not me!" I struggle in anger, hating this man labeling me as a criminal since the first time we met.

" Think I believe you?" Ouch, Skinner grabs my hair firmly, it hurts so much, it brings me to tears. "Tell Spender," next he bumps my head on the concrete wall and I'm seeing stars, "leave me alone." Again, like smashing a tomato, "Stay away from my agents."

Good way to make my day, you bastard! I bark and use all my strength to push him away, "Enough! Beat me again, you'd better explain to the OPC!"

It seems to work, he adjusts his tie and smoothes his shirt, glancing around swiftly.

He takes a deep breath, and looks in my eye. "Is that a threat, Krycek?"

A certain look from his grim face makes me nervous. "No. SIR."

Then he walks to me, one second I think he's going to pull my hair again, instead he wipes his hand on my shirt. I smell my hair-gel on it. "Cut it short." Distaste on his face.

He walks away.

I touch my hair, great, it stands on end! Do you know how long it takes me to keep it down? "You're jealous, baldy," I mutter.

Skinner's office
August 08, 1994

Skinner's POV

I'm disgusting myself. The feel of Krycek's hair remains on my fingers, I was aroused when I grabbed a handful. It's different from the desire I feel for Mulder, at least I clearly know I fell in love with Fox secretly. Krycek...I don't have feelings for him, but I'm afraid he'll make me fall.

Kim knocks on my door and let herself in without my answer. Can't say I'm comfortable about her manner, "What's up?"

" It's almost seven, sir. If nothing else, I'm going home." I remember Kim often stays duing the rush hour, she likes to drive safely. "Did you 'camp' here, sir?" She seems curious, eyes staring at my tie, smiling.

Fuck, I forgot to change it this morning, now she must think I was kicked out by my wife. "Well..."

" Too much paper work I understand. Goodbye, sir."

I grunt a goodbye to her, but she is already gone. Tomorrow, I'll remember to get dinner first and come back after she leaves. I'm not saying my secretary is a big mouth, I just hate being other people's gossip.

" Seven..." I'm wondering what is Sharon doing now. I haven't called her since she came back from her long vacation. Since she answered Krycek's call, she must know Duane Barry's case was over, then she probably began to wonder why I don't go home now. "Think an excuse, Walter. Think."

My stomach roars, giving me a excellent idea, I dial home.

" Hi." Her answer is as quiet as my greeting, "Umm...everything is fine?" She says so-so. "Wanna have dinner with me?" I already knew the answer. Tired? Suits me! "Okay, I understand..." When will I go home? "I'm wrapping up a case...you saw it on TV? Yeah, one of my agents, Mulder...he's fine, thank you." She tells me her mother will come to visit tomorrow and maybe stay a couple of days. "Well, I'd better stay out of her way...take care. Good night."

What a relief! My mother-in-law, finally she knows when to visit. Well, you know, her mother always disliked me, thinks her daughter deserves a better man, frankly she meant a very rich man. Okay, I agree with her, guilty as charged.

Anyway, dinner first. I wonder what is my Fox doing now?

Skinner's office
August 09, 1994
Morning

Krycek's POV

Skinner's secretary called in the intercom on my desk, said there's a emergency meeting in Skinner's office that I should be there now.

What emergency? Find another bug? I'll swear to him this time, NOT ME!

When I get in the elevator, self-consciously, my hand goes to the swelling Skinner caused on my head. Ouch...it hurts. Maybe I can run to the beautiful Agent Scully to ask her to examine it. Hopefully, if Mulder is not dating the red, I'll get her!

F-fuck! What is he doing here?

I stop dead on my feet seeing Spender in the office, then Mulder and the others sitting by the table. Skinner is simply pacing around. I can sense he saw me entering, saw me going to my seat. The tension is like he'll bite me in a second if I stepped on his tail accidently.

Scully's research report on Duane Barry is lying in front of me. I think the case was already wrapped up last night, it's not? Not knowing what's going on in this room, I steal a glance to the smoker who is puffing over the sofa, not giving me any hint. Guess I have to pretend we don't know each other. Then I hope Mulder will give me some pointers, only see him looking like he's haunted.

Skinner begins talking and inquiring, Mulder seems lost in his thoughts. So I have no choice but to answer the questions since I'm his partner now.

It's so embarrassing to say things like the alien abduction, I can see the faces of the others. Thank God Mulder awakes from his daydream and begins to draw the picture by himself.
Wait, wait, Scully was kidnapped by that psycho? No, I wish that's not true, and wonder if it has something to do with Spender? I glance at him, then swallow hard to suppress a feeling of guilt. Did he really take my word and the kidnapping was the 'solution' he promised?

" Make sure he gets home safely." I'm not your errand boy, Skinner.

But I have to obey, anyway.

Mulder's apartment, can't say it's in better condition than mine, looks aged and smelly a little. We stop at room 42, he has no intention of letting me in. And an old lady is standing at her door, looking at us.

Ah, I get the picture! "Well, my job is done, see you in the office."

That lady shuts her door, then Mulder calls after me.

" What?" Spender's order bubbles up in my head. If I'm supposed to get into his pants, now is the chance. I squeeze a tight smile at him, pray Mulder takes it as a warming up and invite me in.

" What was he smoking?" It actually pulls me off balance.

" Who?" My heart pumps hard, is Spooky reading my mind?

" The smoker in Skinner's office."

" I don't know. I don't smoke. I...I-" Stammering.

Mulder sighs impatiently, waves me away and shuts his door on me.

Sigh, I can't even get in his door, no way I'll be able to get him laid. How ridiculous Spender said about the chemistry between Mulder and me.

I don't feel any tiny stir in my veins thinking of another man's dick, just the stir in my stomach.

August 09, 1994

Krycek's POV

Past three, I'm still gadding aimlessly during the working hours. Then I'm damned. Both Spender and Skinner call me, each demanding to know where I've been that they couldn't reach my cell phone. Says that Mulder was back to work before lunch.

Hey, I was only driving FBI's property for lunch, a cup of tea, and...okay, a movie. I needed to get rid of the guilt about Scully. If she died, it'll be my fault. Spender said don't let Mulder find them when I asked if he was behind this. So I almost can be certain all the things are connected together.

God, I confess I really am sorry; but it's already no way out. I've committed a crime, a federal agent's abduction or maybe a murder. I only confess to you because you won't fire me, you won't put the rest of my life in the federal jail, and you won't sentence me death...well, maybe later, much later.

Therefore, in the reality...

I'm going to obey what Spender said.

Going to slow Mulder down.

Stop him finding Duane Barry.

All the doing is out of my sheer willingness.

To cover my ass.

I serve Mulder coffee when he's listening to the record, I pay no less attention to it than Mulder trying to figure out where that psycho took Scully with him. And when we finally are on the mountain, in the tram station, I knock out the operator and nearly succeed in stopping Mulder from reaching them.

I fail.

That's awesome, Agent Mulder! I'm shocked. How brave of you climbing out of the tram, hang out on the top of it up to the sky. By the madness of you trying to rescue your partner - ex, actually.

If I were you, I'd sit down and have a cup of tea to wait for my team. Jesus! Mulder, I'm not going to be responsible for another agent's death, your death.

I restart the tram and so much am relieved to see he arrived at the top unharmed.

No time for Spender's next advise, I have to get there or Mulder will wonder where I've been when I didn't answer his call on the tram.

When I drive over there, Scully was gone; Mulder wrestles with the lunatic Barry. I rush to help cuffing him.

" Where've you been?"

" Driving here, of course. It's getting dark so it slowed me down."

" Oh, yeah? I thought fatal car crashes were linked to sleep deprivation." Huh, Mulder, I bet you also remembered the statistics in my baloney about the U.S. Department of Transportation.

Around eight, Mulder leaves the small room we lock Barry in. He warns me to let no one in and out.

No way.

My turn. I have to interrogate Barry, too. Make sure if Spender was really behind this, I want the truth, thus to admit my sin.

August 09, 1994
Warsaw building, Skyland Mt.

Skinner's POV

Duane Barry is dead, Scully is missing. Later, the agents report that they found the tram operator being in a coma. What a mess! Mulder is pacing and pacing.

"He hasn't slept since Agent Scu-" Krycek mutters quietly in front of me.

" Why do you care?" I ignore him and wave my other agents over, "Agents, see that Agent Mulder gets home."

" Sir-" Mulder begins to protest.

" I can do that, drive him home." Krycek walks to Mulder, a hand his back. I don't like this.

" You, stay and brief me; let the senior agents do it." I nod to them, "See that he actually gets to BED, if necessary, watch the door."

Mulder is upset, and I can see the two day's stubble and his tired eyes, he is exhausted. A feel of affection flits in my chest, it tastes so sweet that I think it's love. I speak to him softly, hoping the others won't see through me, "Sleep. Think you can at least do that?" He startles at my gentle voice.

" Key." Krycek hands their car key to one of the agents, and Mulder glares at him sullenly.

Can't say I'm happy about the way the senior agents handle my Fox, they almost drag him into the car. But, I trust them, that's the point.

A cell phone beeps. Krycek's. Must be Spender. I walk away to see things done, the team is sending the body to the FBI academy morgue. So the time Krycek finishes his 'briefing' to Spender, the whole building contains only the two of us except a man who's waiting outside to lock down here for the day. When Krycek is aware of the situation, he seems nervous.

Yes, be afraid of me, brat. "I won't beat you, if that's what you are worrying about."

He smirks, "You won't let me walk home, would you? It's pretty far from here..."

" I still need your briefing, remember? Get in my car." It's raining now, I hate to think of that night Krycek slept on my sofa, naked in my favorite blanket.

He glares at me warily.

" What? Need I open the door for you?" I slide behind the wheel and start the engine. Krycek sits beside me on the passenger seat looking like this is his first date.

I laugh, "Did you sit beside Mulder like this?" Good question, Walter. Maybe I can eavesdrop on which way Mulder swings.

" What do you mean?" Don't give me shit, Krycek.

" Are you two fucking?"

" What?!" High speed fluttering - his eyelashes, and high pitch of his voice is startling. "You know what, Skinner? You are as much a pervert as Spender!"

I see, he didn't touch my property - Fox Mulder.

We drive for a long time in quiet. The rain is getting heavy, but we almost reach the exit to the route 229.

" He asked me to seduce Mulder." Krycek mutters, brooding. His voice is so low in depression but that is enough to make me pull over to the side of the road in one second. Thank God there's no other car behind us.

" I need your briefing, now."

" Hey, I didn't even try." Krycek watches me, suspiciously. "If he needs someone to handle Mulder, why me? I see you can be a good DADDY."

My heart jumps at the idea. "Watch your mouth, Agent Krycek."

" Now you know what I feel? Mission Impossible."

Wrong, Krycek, this is the only one thing I'd happy to cooperate with the smoker - sleeping with Mulder. Too bad he didn't ask me to.

I breathe, deep and long, eyeing the rain beating down on the window, "I warned you-"

" Not again, Skinner. I may jump the wall if Spender pushes too hard...some kissing won't kill me, Mulder does have pretty lips-"

" Don't you dare!" I choke him, no one is going to lay a hand on my Fox, "I'll kill you if you touch him!"

Fear, anger, and suspicion I see them all in one pool of dark green. Letting go of his throat, I pull back to the road.

He coughs awhile, "You can drop me at the next exit, I'll take a cab."

" It's not my habit to ditch a date."

" Funny." He shuts up and turns to look outside.

The rain stops by the time we pass chinatown. I notice his fist tighten and loosen on his lap several times. That's it, don't cross my path, smart ass.

" I expect your report tomorrow morning." I see him out of my sight.

From the light on the window of Krycek's apartment, I see the shadow of him shedding his clothes. Imagined that is my Fox. So here I am, in a bar at chinatown, not too far away from Krycek's neighborhood. I snort, a man in his early forties is on fire, with an urge to buy himself a drink, trying to quench the burning in his belly.

Skinner's office
August 10, 1994

Krycek's POV

I met Spender downtown early this morning. Last night, the poor guy Duane Barry was whistling 'Stairway to Heaven' when I asked him about Scully, I didn't get a real answer. So I hoped the smoker would give me the truth, only telling me I have no rights, only orders to be carried out.

" If you have a problem with that, we'll make other arrangements." He twisted the butt in the car ashtray. Was that his habit when threatening people?

As usual, Mulder is not at his desk. I sigh, what he did he write in his report about me?

Nine thirty, I walk into Skinner's office. Seeing lot of cigarette butts in the ashtray, I wonder if Spender never slept.

" I do as I was told to confirm Mulder's version." I dump the report on Skinner's desk.

He glares at me, and reads the report, "Do what you were told?" Then pushes it aside. "What about the truth?"

It won't hurt to tell him my own suspicion since he probably also knows Spender's tricks, "Before Mulder interrogated Barry, the medics gave him some liquid. I won't be surprised if Barry was poisoned."

" I'm surprised you're not accusing Mulder of choking him to death."

" I heard him gagging, but some deep breaths, he was fine, he even whistled. Yeah, Mulder choked him, but the poor guy was fine before both of us left him there."

" You know you'll be tested on a lie detector?" I know Skinner doesn't trust me.

" I'm telling the truth." God, nothing but the truth, you bastard.

Reluctantly, Skinner re-reads my report, not looking my way, he mutters, "Tell Mulder the meeting is at ten which you're not allowed to attend."

I hate this.

Ah, here is the golden boy, sitting outside of the office. "You're a little early, meeting is at ten."

Mulder sighs, "I can wait."

He looks as tired as last night, I sneer, "The senior agents didn't let you sleep?"

" Ditched them." He gives me a meaningful smile, slouching on the seats. Kim chuckles softly behind her desk.

I laugh knowingly, "You make me feel better. Well, later."

Poor Mulder, you gonna sit there and explain things they already know. They are playing you.
That freaks me, too. Spender said killing Mulder is not the policy, so I guess playing him is fine. Then my assignment never will be complete because Mulder never gives up. He chases the carrot and I have to stick behind him. Does that mean I still have to 'carry out the order'? Fuck!

I'll really fuck you. Don't make me fuck you. Oh, my.

Skinner's office
August 11, 1994
05:34

Krycek's POV

The moment I lent my car key to Mulder, I knew everything was over. I didn't clean up the cigarette butt Spender left in my car, who knew Spooky was going to use my car? Well, I could've refused Mulder, told him to borrow the Bureau's. But the impulse to let Mulder find them, to make Spender blame his own carelessness, to help me not to fuck Fox Mulder, was so strong. Intelligent as he is, it wouldn't take him long to figure out what a role I played around him.

Thought he would spit in my face, shouting what a betrayer I was at the OPC, only that he 'ditched' us. He didn't show up. Not news to me. The problem is I can't get my car back; Mulder still has the key.

I won't wait at home for the FBI to arrest me; Spender will kill me before the investigation. I need my car. I'll need it if I have to go on the run. I need it, I need it...okay, I begin to fade. Calm down, Alex, will you?

Thank God I have my spare key, the problem is where did Mulder park it? I have gone through the garage fifteen minutes, where's my fucking car?

There it is, look what I find instead? Skinner's car! It's five thirty in the morning, is this guy a workaholic or what? I need to know if Mulder already reported on me to him.

I can search my car later.

No one is on this floor this early. The waiting room door is not locked, I enter the room quietly. A faint light appears under the door of Skinner's office. Can't tell if it's from the sunrise or his office lamps.

The door is ajar, so I walk in. Blinds are closed, concealing the light from outside. "Hate the sunlight, Skinner?"

He looks half dazed on the chair, facing the window. I move to stand a few inches beside him.
" Are you camping here or what?" What a smell, he is drunk.

I see half a bottle of whisky on his desk; he even didn't use a glass. Next to the bottle, the ashtray is piled up of cigarette butts. Spender's!

Skinner sneers, "Are you father and son? First came the older one and then came the younger one."

" What are you talking about?" Not a good time to be here. Apparently, he is pissed off. I'd better leave.

" Did you kill the tram operator?" This stops me in my tracks.

I sag, leaning on the frame of the window, "He's dead? No." Remember I knocked him out. My God, this is the second man I killed, and what happened to Scully is my fault, too. I'm guilty, I'm a sinner. "Did Mulder- fuck that, what...what about the lie detector? Did I pass it?" Why do I care? Well, fuck that, too. I screwed up, anyway.

Abruptly, Skinner jumps on me, knocking his chair over and pinning me to the window. "You're a perfect liar, Krycek, of course you passed it."

" Bad rap!" Shit, being drunk doesn't decrease his strength. But I know what can undo his hands on me, "Like you said, I'm Spender's errand boy; whatever I did is not my free will." He loosens a little, "You know better, you're on his leash, too."

I should shut up, but I can't stop my stupid mouth, "What'd he get on you? A scandal?" His face changes. Got you, baldy?

"Ah-" His fingers clenches into the muscles of my shoulders. "You bastard...hurts!" I shout, and struggle, "What'd you do for him? Lied? Killed? Covered his dirty work?"

Skinner goes postal, shaking me, "I'm not like you, piece of shit!"

"Don't call me that!" I flip out too, and play dirty, kicking him there. That undoes his hold. I run for the door.

Next second, he tackles me from behind.

"I'm not your punching bag!" Wrestling with him on the floor, I load a couple of solid punches on his chest and arms. But Skinner is more skilled at fighting than me; he hauls me up, bending me on his desk and slams my head on it twice. I see stars, trying to buck him off, "You, me, Spender, what's the difference? We're just a bunch of criminals!"

" No!" He growls, and hammers my back.

God, I think he broke my ribs. I gasp in pain, but the heat and the arousal coming from his lower body is unmistakable. "You pervert! What are you doing?" He unbuckles my belt, pulls down my pants.

It's only a few seconds. I escape while he frees himself; only I'm bent back on the desk again.

" Fuck! Fuck you! Let me go, please!" This is not happening. I'm a good man; I'm mom and dad's sweet boy. I'm dreaming; it's a nightmare. So scary! "NO!" I cry out. The pain of being penetrated rushes through my spine and blows up through the top of my skull. My ears ring, I hear myself cursing and pleading for mercy, then suddenly nothing.

He withdraws and lets go of me. "What've I done?" So you awaken from your drunken rampage is a miracle, Skinner?

" Fuck!" His sound seems muted, bubbles in the air to me.

I feel weak, weak like a woman. The streaming warmth of my blood makes me feel faint. Not a big deal, I tell myself. But why do I shake like a woman being raped? I'm raped! Shit, Spender should have warned me to buy insurance for my ass, should have added a list to the risks of my 'job'.

Trembling, which I have no control over, I'm dragged by the bastard to his bathroom before my blood can drop on his carpet leaving evidence he has to deal with.

" Stay there." He shuts me in.

" Not a big deal, Alex." I tell myself again. Shaking, I wipe off the blood and throw the tissues into the toilet, vomiting at the same time when flushing them.

Not that I never bleed from fighting, I used to bleed from fights when I was a teenager. But this time it's different, totally wrong, wrong place - it's my ass! The hurt and bleeding there makes me remember the girl in my high school being half forced to lose her virginity to me. And now, the feeling of being over-powered in this way makes me feel guilty for everything I did to her. But, but she did have a thing for me, I could tell she enjoyed it a bit. I feel pity for myself that I didn't enjoy this. I was raped! One hundred percent, unwilling, by a man. Damn!

The shaking seems to go on forever. I can't stay and let people find me raped. No, I just lost a fight, that's it.

No sound out there in the office. "Run away from the first crime scene, Assistant Director?" I cough; my ass hurts, and my ribs are killing me.

But somehow, I run on my shaking feet, and finally back down to the garage.

In the nick of time, Mulder drives my car turning into a corner. Kissing my spare key, I wait until he goes upstairs. Then I'm in my car. Breathing deeply, I murmur, "Everything is over." My career, my normal life, my dream.

I'm running out of time. Have to pack and run.

Skinner's office
August 11, 1994
Dawn

Skinner's POV

Mulder didn't show up at the OPC. Hell, did I miss a seminar of 'agent discipline'?

I'm reading the result of Krycek's lie detector test involving the death of Duane Barry; he passed it. Then the phone rings, my team in the hospital tell me the tram operator died in the coma. Smoker's dog Krycek, I don't believe you are clean.

" Sir? Are you leaving?" It's Kim. I didn't hear her knock.

" Um, yeah." I need to have dinner anyway. We take the elevator together then go separate ways.

I have dinner in Chinatown. Rain begins falling outside the restaurant. Makes me remember last night on Skyland Mt., I wanted to take Fox home and sing him a song to sleep. Instead, I sent other agents to take him home and gave Krycek a lift, listening to his whine about not wanting to seduce Mulder. You piece of lucky shit, I'd let you punch me for exchanging Fox's kiss...

Kiss is not enough...God, I need another drink! I drive to the bar I went to last night.

Some guys are playing pool. The night is still young; the bartender eyes my clothing and says warily but politely, "Still on duty, sir?" This kind of job or working in this city make them read people well. If not, it's me looking too official.

" Just off it." I begin to take off my trench coat, "Whiskey, straight up."

" Are you going to drive?" That's annoying, young man. But he is right.

" Forget it. A bottle, I'll take it home." I smile at him tightly.

I nearly drove home, just for a moment. But I had stopped touching Sharon since the day my heart turned to Fox, which I forget when that happened.

Dialing home, my arousal flattened, "Sharon?" She whispers it's too late and I woke her Mom. "She's still there? I'm running out of dress shirts." She keeps silent. "Alright, good night."

I considered sleeping in the hotel, already sick of my office's sofa. Yet find myself driving back to the Bureau like a well trained racing pigeon knowing its way home. That's you, Skinner; you just married your desk.

" Fuck!" I curse inwardly. Spender is sitting in 'my chair', polluting 'my air'.

" I'm sorry about the loss of your agent's partner." Black lung, you're sorry for everything. "But he needs a little punishment for his disobedience..."

" You have no right-" I step forward, wanting to strangle his old bones.

Spender yanks a file from his coat then tosses it on the desk, "Your agent is too pale. I think a vacation would soothe his grief."

" Vacation? You call that a punishment?" I put the whiskey on the desk, take the file and read the case, "Vampires? California?"

" Mulder may have fun."

" Aliens, vampires, are you people insane? His sister is already the ghost driving his life crazy." I shake the file angrily. I know some people believe in aliens, but turning this belief into some kind of government plot, involving my agents, is too much.

" A little sunshine would do him good." Slowly, he twitches the cigarette in the ashtray; I hope it's the last one for tonight. "Maybe he'll forget about the redhead. Don't you think, Mr. Skinner?" He lights another cigarette and leaves.

California? They planted Krycek and took Scully, what else will they do to Mulder? Is Scully who they will leash me with? Shall I give Mulder the case leading him to danger?

I chug the whiskey, let the alcohol shut down my worries.

Between dazing and wakening, I see the sun rise. If I listen carefully, I bet someone is coming.

The man says something to me. Krycek? I blink, aware he walks closer to me, "Are you camping here or not?"

I look up at him and sneer, "Are you father and son? First came the older one and then came the younger one."

I'm pissed off by the fact that I have to send Mulder to the west coast. Now Krycek comes to remind me of my powerlessness against the consortium.

As an A.D. with the FBI, I can't fight a criminal like Spender and his group hiding in shadow, but that doesn't mean I won't fight back if I get a chance. In a war between men, power and ugly things, you meant to be a survivor, to over-power the weak and balance yourself in the game. Krycek will do, I'm going to dig out the chip you planted in my territory, Spender.

I've beaten him, I know his poor fighting skill. But he's playing dirty, kicking me there. Good, I'll teach you the real way to play dirty! Receiving a couple of his solid punches is worth raping him on my desk. In Vietnam, my ally once told me the best and most cruel way to break a man is to fuck him not kill him.

I'm going to prove it. Now.

The idea makes me excited, the fight warming me up, his cursing and pleading burning me up. I penetrate him in a sense of victory. Abruptly, Krycek's wails fiercely in my crazy mind.

I wake, totally, from my madness.

Withdrawing from him, I see the blood on my cock. "What've I done?" I'm a rapist! He was right; we are just a bunch of criminals. Now he has every reason to go to the OPC. "Fuck!"

He is shaking, eyelashes half closed and flutters quickly, face so pale. He is in shock, that much I can tell. I feel sorry for him in an instant, he's just a tool in this game; he doesn't need to be sacrificed like this. I want to apologize, but his bleeding there warns me to save my own ass first.

Buckling my pants, I drag him over to my bathroom, "Stay there!" Shutting the door, I check the floor making sure no blood is on it. It's six thirty, I have to send him away, or people will see. "Where's my trench coat?" Need him to put it on to cover the blood staining his blue jeans. "Damn!" Left it in my car. I rush to get it.

My heart thumps painfully with guilt. I move like a sinner back to my office.

" Krycek, put this on," I open the bathroom door, "We're leav-"

He is already gone.

To be continued...