What If - 1a
by Shang (shang@shang-fic.net)

Website: http://www.shang-fic.net/

Rating: R

Pairing: Sk/K angst, Sk/M UST

Category: Episode related-Tooms, Little Green Men, The Host, Sleepless.

Summary: The way a married man loves his agent; the way a young agent falls.

Disclaimer: They belong to truth, justice and evil.

Archive: 2003 Spooky Awards, Slashing Mulder, the Basement...

Beta: Bertina. I hope she have fun betaing this story.

Warning: Read here before you take the risk to read the story.

AD Skinner's office
March, 1994

Skinner's POV

I hate the smoker; again he is yanking my chain as always since the day I became the AD. Yes, like those agents say I'm a by-the-book man. I am, and that was one of the reasons why I could climb the ladder. But I feel there'll be a limit to that side of me every time I see the smoker puffing in my eyesight. I just want to punch his black lungs, throw him out of my window and shout to him never show up again in my office when he is falling...sigh, it's only a dream, wouldn't happen in the real world.

It was an order coming from the DD that I should cooperate with this man--an observer. Observe what? My job, my agents or...

My Fox?

No, he's not mine. Not yet.

I know Mulder is a trouble agent, but I don't think the Bureau would waste time and money to judge a man they could fire him easily if he really threatened the FBI's prestige.

Sometimes I doubt the notion that every new AD should be observed for a certain while. Do they not trust my ability of leading my agents? I should ask one of the other ADs like Jana Cassidy about this later if I run into her at the cafe at lunch. As for now...

He is sitting here, in front of my desk because the case of Eugene Tooms. Since Agent Scully was dismissed, the seat beside him is empty now. My heartbeat is speeding up by one glance at that seat knowing he won't feel what I feel if I sit beside him so close that I can smell his scent. But the smoker is seated off in the distance, 'observing'. So I take off my glasses before I walk around my desk to Mulder, hoping by doing this I won't see his beautiful face too clearly. Don't even move a muscle of your face, Walter. I'm afraid of revealing that I get too exciting when I'm SITTING BESIDE FOX.

" Fox, you are one of the finest, most unique agents in the nearly sixty-year history of this institution." Oops, I called him Fox the dear name I have itched to say it for so long. I should watch my mouth more carefully. "I mean, we were talking about you when you were in the academy. Now, most of us..." Like reading my lines, I'm blurting out what the smoker probably would like to hear which I hope it's also by-the-book.

I feel bad that I have to make Mulder step away from his case. But it is my job and my concern to keep him safe and, in the meantime, to satisfy the smoker. I can't read his body language; was he satisfied by what I said to Mulder?

I dismiss Mulder, anyway. Not wanting him staying here too long, my gut tells me to keep my Fox safe away from this man.

AD Skinner's office
July 10, 1994

Skinner's POV

I think I'm not simply lusting after Fox. He is in my heart, in an important corner. Because that night in May, Scully called me to the hospital, it hurt seeing him injured so badly lying on the bed. I almost reached out my hands to comfort him.

Of course I couldn't. Get real.

He was stubborn, refusing to tell me how he got that kind of burning wound and who his informant was. Apparently, his X Files endangered him.

So after taking an order from the top to shut down the X Files on May 21, I was so relieved that Mulder would be safe doing a regular, normal job as a field agent should be when he was assigned to do a simple surveillance with a bunch of other agents. Yeah, I picked the boring job for him. For the sake of relieving my worry and also to get rid of the smoker.

But still, he keeps watching. Now I really am confused. To me, Mulder seems not a problem for now. He might not be a good boy taking orders obediently, but he didn't do anything wrong so far. That means I hadn't seen him for a long two months.

I miss him.

If I make an excuse down to the basement...no, that might be inappropriate. Forget about it, Walter.

My thoughts are dragged back to the present when the smoker lights another cigarette. Every time he is here, I have to call Mulder in so he can put on a show for the three of us. Having Mulder entertain the smoker, I must be a good actor. What happened this time ? Oh, my favorite agent finally broke the rules. Again. I can't believe he dared to leave his duty and disappeared. Even Scully couldn't find him. I'm really mad with him this time.

The smoker annoys me, too. Especially now, I'm shocked that Mulder is accusing me of wiretapping his phone, I'm sure of whom the smoker keeps tabs on. And who gave him the right to tell my agent to leave?

In this office, it would be me in charge. My territory!

" Get out." Not you, my Fox. So don't go, don't give me that hurt face that only a green agent would wear. I would never damage your self-respect.

" I said get the hell out." Priceless, the look on both of them.

It feels better than punching on the smoker when everyone knows who the authority is in this room, the elder, the stronger or the younger? It's me!

I'm not mad at Mulder anymore. The look in his eyes tells me he appreciates being under my wing. I never felt so strong.

After the smoker left, I considered to making a move towards Fox. But I didn't dare, after all. Mulder left a minute ago. Seeing the cigarette still smoking in the ashtray, a chill creeps on me. Mulder is pissing someone off 'cause of his X Files and he won't stop searching for his little green man even though his department had been shut down. Will I be willing to stand by him when I need to make a decision whether to save him or my own ass?

AD Skinner's office
July 18, 1994

Skinner's POV

We had a bad time today. Yes, I like to think 'we'. In my mind, he's mine. Though he spent most of his time with that beautiful agent Scully, but whom does he demand to see when he asks for a 302? I like him requesting anything from me, that makes me feel he needs me.

But sometimes he is out of line. I mean he is adorable when he complains and pouts, I like that very much. That's a face only I have the honor to see. Not today. There were several people attending the meeting when he interrupted. I think after last week the interlude between the smoker and us, he may be under the mistaken impression we are closer and I'd be more tolerant of his behavior. I might if the situation was different. What else could I do? People were watching us.

'What's my next punishment, scrubbing the bathroom floors with a toothbrush?' Recalling his expressing when he said this to me, I can't help myself smiling at the feeling that he was acting childish and wanting my attention.

Mulder is not happy. I know. Without his X-Files, he is more restless. Like putting a genius into a normal class, he is bored. I consider transferring him back to the BSU. Maybe he'll be happier there. I realize though, definitely not. Wouldn't have any excuse to meet him anymore.

Skinner's house
July 30, 1994
23:08

Skinner's POV

A lonely old man drinks his Scotch, listening to the rain in his empty bed. That's me. Sharon had been vacationing on the west coast for a week. She forgot we had an appointment with our lawyer today. Maybe she did it on purpose. This is not the first time we were to sign the documents to end our marriage, and one of us always just happened to have a good excuse to delay it. Well, we're old couples. There's still so much between us except love.

The doorbell buzzed softly which needed to be fixed a long time ago just like my marriage. I wonder who it is. My wife won't be hurry coming back to this cold house in a hurry on this rainy night.

" 'M coming." Not bothering to cover my half nude upper body, I open the door revealing the unexpected visitor.

Shit! He is standing there really like a ghost with the smoke polluting my porch. Can't he give me a break?

" Mr. Skinner."

He looks like he's in a good mood; this is the first time I see him smile. Not a pleasing one, though.

" May I come in?"

I cough; letting him know no smoking in my house. He flips the butt into the dark night air. Lucky it's raining now or he'll set a fire to my yard which has been in need of cleaning out for a long time--Sharon and I, we just don't do things together anymore.

A young man following behind him is soaked by the rain and, also like a ghost, startles me. I didn't see him when the door was only half opened. He is pale except those pair of pink lips. It's a sin.

" What the hell?" I don't like unexpected visitors or an unexpected surprise.

" Where's your wife?" The bastard lights another cigarette in my house, smugly. "I don't think she's still on the west coast..."

" Am I under surveillance, too?" Now I regret not putting on a shirt earlier, I feel cold all of a sudden.

The young man drops his bag and comes to stand between me and the smoker. I can see through his jadeite green eyes--they are dangerous. So this is his body guard ? Looks a little pale to me.
" Alex Krycek." The smoker drops his damn cigarette on my carpet and steps on it to twist it in torture. "Take care of him. And you will deliver every report on Fox Mulder to him in my absence. Assign him to the 302 that Mulder will request tomorrow."

Things are not as simple as I knew anymore. I calm down the instant I hear my Fox's name. "Since when should I report to you? Who are you, exactly?"

" Just do as I told you, or I won't guarantee YOUR lovely agent's safety...or your career, Skinner." Damn, does he know that I have a thing for Mulder? That's impossible; I haven't touched any man in my life so far.

The smoker fishes out another Morley and turns to leave.

" What should I do with your..." DOG I mean.

" Give him a place to sleep." The smoker seems not give him a shit. And the young man begins to shed his soaked sweater, not even looking back when the old man leaves my house.

He can't leave a young man in my house ! What would the neighbors think when they see the beauty leave my place during my wife's absence in the morning? What would the Bureau think if they see I drive a green agent to his working day through the parking deck camera?

And what should I do now? This young man, Alex Krycek, is taking all his clothing off in front of me. Is this a stupid test? No way would I step into the trap.

" Good stuff," Hey, that's my favorite blanket he takes from the back of the sofa. "And good night."

Without anything to wear, he wraps the wool blanket around himself and sleeps on my sofa. Not giving a damn about me, either.

Great.

At 5:00AM in the morning, I'm too worried to sleep through the night. I tip toe down to the living room, hoping to think an excuse to ask him to leave. But when I'm down there, he's already gone.

The sofa is cold, and the blanket is exactly right in the same place it used to be. Last night seems a dream to me. Did I dream it? I actually drank a little but not enough to be drunk...no, not a dream, I see the cigarette butt lying on my carpet pitifully. Damn ! How am I going to explain the burned spot on the carpet to Sharon?

Skinner's house
July 30, 1994
Midnight

Krycek's POV

So this is the man. Luis said the old man got a good job for me.

As a green agent in the FBI, I feel like a little stone being thrown into an ocean. I'm so small and unimportant. Everyday I do the same routine over and over, pass the security guard, show him my badge, take the elevator, go to my desk. Then feel lost when I look up seeing all the agents who sat here when they were green like me and they are still here when they are gray. I'm so anxious to grab any possibility to improve my career. And my colleague says I'm playing a dangerous game by hanging out with a scum-bag like Luis Cardinal. They are stupid, who knows, someday you may get lucky from this piece of shit life.

I am lucky. I heard the rumor that the Consortium is a powerful shadow government, spreading their influence all over the world.

Luis is very good at killing which I know is the reason he was hired to be their mercenary. What about me? I'm wondering what they expect from a green agent.

Anyway, I'm sitting here, in a dark limo, with a smoker, on a cold rainy night.

Wait, wait! This man is talking about the aliens. Aliens! Is he a nut?

" Yes, I'll show you my loyalty. Sir." I flutter my eyelashes sincerely. My ass! But I'll play with it as long as he can promise me a career.

He goes on about all the details he wants me to follow on the way to...well, somewhere?

The limo is pulled up in front of a house.

Fuck, now I'm soaked by the heavy rain. The driver keeps his master dry not me, a nobody. I want to change into my dry clothes badly which was dragged into my bag in a hurry when the smoker showed up at the gym earlier tonight.

Wait, I know this man! So we are visiting the Assistant Director Walter Skinner. Is he a member of the Consortium, too? Hope he won't mention the aliens, I had enough tonight.

He seems a little startled seeing me. But I don't think he'd recognize every agent in the Bureau.
The bald man lets us in after the smoker flipped away his cigarette. That's it, principles. By-the-book man, all the agents laugh at him that. Is he an alien believer, too? I don't think so. He looks sane...and angry. Apparently, we're not welcomed here.

Considering their little chat, the bald man, our AD Skinner, must be worth something in the smoker's hand, otherwise he wouldn't be so depressed to see us.

Dropping my bag, I step ahead to face the poor guy who is hissing and his broad chest muscles are tensing up. Very impressive! I won't stand a chance if I really have to fight the older man. How old is he?

" Alex Krycek." Every nerve in me stands on alert when the smoker mentions my name. Turning a little to glance back at him, I see the smoker dropping his burning cigarette on the beautiful carpet on purpose. He is gloating. Fuck! Does he want to see me being beaten up? The AD is as strong as an ox! "Take care of him. And you will deliver every report on Fox Mulder to him in my absence. Assign him to the 302 that Mulder will request tomorrow."

So that's my first real job-both in the FBI and the Consortium, I feel like a James Bond.

I must have missed something they talked when I was deep in my self-satisfied. What the smoker just said? Am I going to stay here through the night ? They are discussing me like I'm a really dumb green agent, maybe worse.

No, it's the AD who should report to me. I'm smiling; I can't help it when I realize how it is and taste a bit of power.

Ducking my face, I pull the wet sweater over my head in time to hide my foolish smile. I'm going to stay since the smoker gave me a hint that I should watch the poor guy.

Wrapping myself warmly in a thick cashmere blanket, I'm saying good night to him, mockingly--I know I am.

Hours later, I wake in the cold air and find my body is completely exposed out of the blanket. Shit, it's almost five o'clock in the morning. Better get out of here, I've only gotten three hours to think of how to return to my apartment which is completely on the opposite side of town and I don't think I have enough cash in my pocket.

Regardless of my cheap wet clothing, I pull out those dry from my gym bag. Oh, they are musty from being packed the whole night. Should've taken them out last night. I wear them anyway; can't be late for work.

July 31, 1994
Morning

Krycek's POV

My money only gets me past the FBI building two blocks away, and the damn driver refuses to take me home to get the rest of the money. So, I'm jogging the last two miles to go back to my place.

I find the file the smoker mentioned last night had been delivered into my mailbox. Whoa, what can I say? Krycek, you're a man on a mission! I'm thrilled excitedly. I take good ten minutes to study this case while drinking my one-day-expired cold milk.

Shower, shave, especially taking care of my hair. I'm a new man. And today is the first day to start my real career. Oh, should remember to thank Luis the next time we play pool.

I still repeat the same routine. Pass the security guard, show him my badge, take the elevator then go to my desk. But, I don't have to sit. Throwing my briefcase under the desk, I look around the office, laughing at my colleagues inwardly. Yeah, you guys just sit here your whole life.

I make a beeline to the elevator, and within a few minutes I'm in the AD's office.

" Let him in." I know he is expecting me this morning. His secretary smiles at me, "You heard him."

So I enter the huge and bright office. And take a deep breath. It feels good, the sun is shining through the closed blinds. Then I see him beside his desk, or you can say he's half sitting on it, with his arms folded in front of his chest.

" Take it and get lost." He nods at the file lying on his desk not even looking my way. This is my first time I was treated so poorly.

I instantly become angry. "We'll see, baldy." I simply take it and give him a hard look.

On my way to find Fox Mulder, I calm myself down. 'Alex, do your job and you'll be rewarded.' The smoker's words are sounding in my head.

I shake my head to clear my mind. First thing, call the Detective who was in charge the case. Act like I'm really interested in this case.

Detective Whorton briefs me within a few minutes. He doesn't know too much beyond the report.

Then, well, it's not too hard to find Spooky. Everyone knows his X-Files had been shut down and his punishment was doing boring wiretap transcription. But hey, I heard of him a lot, never thought I would meet him, certainly not working with him some day. Why didn't anybody ever mention how young and handsome he is? I've always thought he only had brains.

He looks neat and...'sane' ! Was all the alien crap a joke? Maybe the smoker was making fun of me? I'm confused. What should I do?

" Agent Mulder?" Shit, I'm all thumbs. I hate this.

" Yeah."

Fox Mulder, refusing to cooperate with me politely, is hard to get along with. Rumors about him being an iceberg is somewhat correct. I can feel the distance he keeps. Not an easy-going man. But I have to do my job, you are not going to get rid of me so easily, Agent Mulder.

" It's my case, Agent Mulder. Look, I maybe..." God, I hate to admit this, "...GREEN, but I had the case first and I'm not going to give this away so quickly."

Piece of cake. He tells me to go to the motor pool to get a car.

Time is ticking by...damn, he fooled me. The smoker calls me informing that Mulder had already left for the National airport when I'm waiting for him down here. I've been ditched, for the first time in my life, by a man. Making a U-turn, the tires squeak angrily on the parking lot, I take off.

Before I use my badge to check every counter in the airport, my cell phone is ringing.

" Book to NY LaGuardia Airport." Click.

I turn around looking for anyone who might is watching me. Now, I can understand Skinner's anger that night in his house when he suspected the smoker surveilled him. It's uncomfortable knowing somebody was behind my back, watching.

In a half an hour, another phone call. "Grissom Sleep Disorder Center."

Sigh, I have enough brains to find out where Mulder is. They are using me as a tool to get to Mulder, isn't one Walter Skinner enough?

Luckily, I catch him on time outside of the clinic. 'I got the keys, Mulder. You're not going to ditch me again!' Huh.

Within two hours, we arrive at Quantico. And I finally get to meet a real beauty, though covered up under the medical gown, she is hot. I'm wondering if Mulder is seeing her. They talk so closely like lovers, totally ignoring my presence. Fine, I know you two are doing it on purpose. After all, I'm a junior agent and really act like a babe in the woods--can't believe no matter how many times I had seen the autopsies, it still makes me sick.

August 2, 1994
2:13AM

Krycek's POV

Throwing the report I stole from under Mulder's car seat on my bed, I lie down still shaking uncontrollably. Oh, man...oh...I just killed a man tonight. I swear I really saw Cole holding a gun pointing at Mulder. At that moment, I forgot everything except to shoot him instinctively.

I can't help myself recalling the event again and again. Everything happened so fast--we finally found out about Cole, there were officers down, then the train station, then...nothing. Nothing except I shot Cole, I killed him.

Rolling on to my stomach, adjusting the pillow under my chin, I still can't stop the feeling of wanting to vomit. I keep swallowing saliva, mind fogged.

Faintly, I hear my cell phone ringing. One thirteen in the morning? Who the fuck? Don't want to answer it.

Ringing, it's not my cell phone this time. It's my telephone which I'd never used it before - I hadn't given the number to anyone.

" Yes?"

" What's wrong with your cell phone?" The smoker asked.

Shit, I really forgot my secret dealing with the Consortium. Too deeply lost in the fear of my first killing to remember my true ambition.

" I'm sorry, I..."

" I'll give you five minutes to compose yourself. There's a black van down the ally of your apartment. Choose the fire escape. And Alex, bring the report."

" What re-" Click. How the hell did he know I stole the report Mulder hid under his car seat? Unless he or his man saw it, but why bother to use me if they already knew? They could take it before I stole it.

Anyway, I take the report then go.

'Oh, my God!' I nearly cry out when I come into the living room and see someone had let himself in.

" I thought you'd wait five mi-"

" Expecting someone else, Agent Krycek?" The man steps into the dim light which oozes through the blinds. Walter Skinner?!

Can't hang out here too long, the car is waiting. "What's your problem?"

He throws a bag on my sofa. "You forgot something."

My bag, of course my pile of clothes, too.

My eyebrow arches, "You could've dumped it."

" How long have you worked for him?"

He is not into chit chat, great, saves me time.

" Who's him?"

" The smoker." He spits the words, doesn't show much patience.

" I though you knew his name. You're one of them, aren't you?"

" Who are them?" With caution this time he demands an answer.

" The Consortium, of course." I laugh. "Are you kidding me that you don't know whom you work for?"

He knits his eyebrows, thinking. But I don't have the time to play around with him.

" Look, I have to go. You know the way out," I say coldly, remembering that he treated me like a shit in his office.

" Stay away from them, the sooner the better, Agent." He stares at me. Can't tell what he means but at this moment I see a glimpse of emotion behind his glasses.

Then he leaves.

Seeing him off by the window, I soon leave by the fire escape which is off the back door of my kitchen.

August 2, 1994
After midnight

Skinner's POV

I know the case is over before midnight. Mulder called me from New York. So I know Agent Krycek killed Cole. I'm not surprised the young man killed him. He must have taken an order from the smoker. I can't stand sitting here and wondering what he'll do to my Fox next.

It's not difficult to check Alex Krycek's dossier. Hope the address is not a fake.

I go back home to change and leave with his gym bag and clothes.

He lives on the opposite side of town from my house which is much closer to the FBI building than mine. Not a nice area, old apartments in a high crime neighborhood. And thanks for that, his place is easy to break in. No guards on duty.

I'm not sure if he is home or when he'll come back if he is not. So I hesitate whether to check his bedroom or not. Then I'm startled by the ringing phones, both in the living room and his bedroom.

He is answering his phone call in the bedroom. Got you! I sit back into the shadow by his coffee table, and wait patiently. Not too long, I hear him coming out.

He is startled seeing me. Good.

" I though you'll wait five mi-"

" Expecting someone else, Agent Krycek?" Can't stay here too long then, seems someone is getting here. Five minutes?

I'll give us three minutes.

Throwing his bag on the sofa. We had a little chat. Soon, I wish I never heard it.

The fact is we all are bound to a mysterious organization, the so-called the Consortium.
Krycek is too young to know what he has gotten himself into. These people are not so simple, they are scary.

Drugs, weapons, smugglers, you can deal with. But they aren't into that. There are things much scarier. They are into bigger and better technologies, government secrets, organized murders, and power.

Now everything makes sense. The X-Files, Mulder, the smoker, Krycek and me. Even Scully? I did get the order from the top to separate Mulder and her by assigning them apart.

Some of us will get killed in this dangerous game.

" Look, I have to go. You know the way out." His voice is cool.

I can see his ambition in his eyes. He is too young, wanting more than he can possibly handle. I feel a little pity for him, at the same time; I don't want to loose any good agent of mine.

" Stay away from them, the sooner the better, Agent." It's all I can say for now.

Time is up. I've got to boogie.

August 6, 1994
22:37

Krycek's POV

My colleagues rag on me the few days since they found out I was working with Spooky on Cole's case. I can imagine they'll soon regard me as a total mutant. Well, you gain something, and loose something. I had made a choice.

The smoker, what his colleagues called him? Spender? Seemed pleased by my killing. He said I had a potential to complete their orders. A chill crept all over me when I heard that, I didn't intend to kill anyone which he snorted at my confession.

I don't want to improve my career by killing anyone. The AD's words come to mind, 'Stay away from them, the sooner the better.' The question is, do I still have a chance ? There must be a way to work for Spender but not killing, right? I'm still young, and the promise of a future is so appealing to me.

Women, money and power, Krycek rules the world...uh, just kidding, that is not going to happen. My opinion is any man would desire the same things as I, and I'm just the lucky bastard to achieve it.

Anyway, don't hesitate, Alex. Go! Go! Go!

My cell phone rings.

" Yeah?...Hey, Luis...Okay." It's Luis Cardinal. He said there's a real bitch from NY just departed from Spender's place. Luis was going to give her a lift to the National Airport, but before that she intends to have some fun in DC.

You see? This is my lucky day, man.

I put on the leather jacket I just bought. Well, it never was my style, but I want to try a totally different thing. Just an afterthought, after I killed Cole, I feel the leather scent and how it feels makes me feel safe and calm. I want to be tough and have no fear.

As I think tough, I see that the hottie looks tough. I never met this kind of woman so far in my career. To me, she is a beauty in a 007 movie: neat, cool, full of energy and secrets.

I know I'm a green agent, but I don't want to be green in front of her. Not that I'm flattering myself, but my face is always my ticket to the wonderland of women. Marita won't miss the point, right?

" Hi." She is coming on to me. "Nice jacket."

" Thanks." My little brother stands at attention the moment her fingers slide against my jacket. "Alex Krycek, call me Alex," I stammer.

" You two want to play or not?" Luis knocks on the rail of the billiard table with the cue impatiently.

" Of course we'll play," Marita pulls my jacket collar, and winks at Luis, "...not with you though."
Oh, my! She pulls me upstairs. Did she know what people do upstairs in this bar? Luis gives me an evil smile before we go upstairs. I doubt they had done business and I'm the bitch's second round.

Before I can talk about safe sex, she is on me. Hot, wet and fast...I lose it. I can't blame my little brother for surrendering to the hottie so soon.

" Nice body, too." She zips and buttons my jeans efficiently with one hand, the other is sliding around my belly and chest greedily. "See you around, Alex."

Ouch! She pinches me...where I'm ashamed to say it.

My jaw drops, my eyes open wildly. That's it? She just left me after she used me, and yet I didn't touch her, not even a hair!

" Hey, Alex, are you doing yourself there? Get down here already," Luis shouts to me. When I walk down the stairs, Marita was gone.

" Say something."

" What?"

" Our comrade Marita." Luis leers.

" You tell me. Is she always like that, Luis?"

" Not to me, "He spits to the floor, "How the hell should I know? I only saw her twice, including tonight, she asked me to give her a ride then she changed her mind half way to the airport. You know the rest."

" Yeah, a 'ride'."

The whole thing is so odd. Something is wrong and I can't put my finger on it.

" Hey, where're you going? The night is still young." Luis knocks on the rail again.

" Go home. Clean myself, stupid."

" Yeah?" Luis snorts.

I just shake my head, waving goodbye to him.