What If

I love Skinner. To me, he is a man with many possibilities. 'What If' is where I want to try it. I mean, a lot fics have him as a father figure or have certain authority towards the others, yes, that's so satisfying to write/read the power, sometimes. And here, I try to think things from a different angle, about the what ifs. The struggling, lost, foolishness and pain, and more that's beyond what I can describe clearly.

As realistic, as logical as my intent of setting things right, and squeezing missing scenes between the eps, however, this one will be a hard read - yeah, to my bata( who'll volunteer? )and the readers. You can imagine one trying to figure out what I'm saying here between the awful-grammar lines.

It's dark, heavy and sad all the way to the end. You see, we all want love, but not everyone can have it the easy way. Maybe one of them eventually can find love but not without regret.

In this universe, Skinner is not a protector. He has his crush on Mulder, is hesitant to reach out, constantly he struggles with his own good. And Krycek is really that green an agent with every innocence at the beginning; like every ambitious young man, he has his dreams, he is shallow, he tries it the wrong way, he gets his lesson badly. His world changes when he have to dance around CSM, Skinner and Mulder. Through both Skinner's and Krycek's POVs, I'm kind of mapping Mulder. Why's that? I think he is the gray area that makes the other two fill the black and white and will make this WIP interesting. At one point, Skinner is not gay though he has fantancies about Mulder but he never touched a man, not until he rapes Krycek. And Krycek is also not gay, but in the end he wants Skinner's ture love and still ends dead. Mulder is the wild card, gay or not, we have to figure out.

I'm not going to change what happened in the show, just playing the possibilities with what ifs behind the scenes.

Love is out there.

Warning
To read this WIP, you need to turn the light off, pour yourself a glass of wine - bitter, I suggest, or light a cigarette. Be quiet, no music. It's delight to read at first, and will be getting heavy chapter by chapter. I'm not writing this to please anyone, you've be warned, read if you're in the mood to be tortured. Because it's so depressing.

2004.08.03

What If 1a 1b 2

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